Time flies by so much. It has been eight months already. Are your memories of us still as vivid in your mind as mine? I could never forget. I don’t want to forget; I remind myself every night. A month ago, I wanted to write to you. I was insecure about us. I have never finished my letter, and I’m glad I didn’t. I’m not insecure anymore. I don’t care about my appearance, if you like me or not, or if you are even real at all. I am done wondering, done asking these questions—these doubts. You. Are. Real. Even if my mind made you up— you exist to me. You are real in my mind; you are real in my heart. And I must hold on to that. Because if I don’t, my heart will shatter. This way, my heart keeps from falling apart even further than it already is. You keep my heart intact.

Honestly, all I care about right now is us, about love. Perhaps it’s a temporary feeling (I doubt that though), but it is how I feel at this moment. I just need to talk to you. Maybe I will finish my other letter and let you read it, but for now, I just need you. I know you understand. I so often try to feel your presence, but I always fail. I don’t know how I still manage to cope with this void feeling inside of me—the incompleteness, a part that is missing but should be there, like a crucial organ of your body like a liver or a heart—that without it, it’s hard to stay alive. You’re my missing organ; I can’t function without you. It doesn’t sound very romantic, does it? But this is exactly how I feel, and you need to know how I feel about us—there is no time for poetic descriptions of how I long for you.

I want to ask you something. I know war is going and I know you have no time for love (there is no time for a silly young girl like me). But I am going to the woods tomorrow. I would love to stroll with you through the forest. Your presence is not enough, but if it is all I can have, please love me hard. Don’t stay for minutes, as in the past. Stay with me for hours. Let’s walk hand in hand, let me feel your touch without your physique. Let me feel your warmth, your love for me and let me feel the smile on your face. Let me feel everything as far as it is able, as far as it can be, as far as it is allowed. Let us have this first date. I don’t only need your love. I need you.

I hope to meet you there tomorrow.
If not. I still love you.